Second Audition 2003: Winter, Brooklyn

Audition: The Heights Players, monologue (1st monologue ever for real -- GRIGORI STEPANOVITCH SMIRNOV from Chekhov’s one-act, The Boor.), 12/6/2003 7PM.
Director: unknown.
Location: 26 Willow Place, Brooklyn, Brooklyn Heights.

Positives
- Remembered to ‘place’ the character, Helena Ivanovna Popov, and kept her there.
- Attitude: Told myself NOT to play it safe, i.e., not to give them what I think they want. I took my time to do what I wanted, and I didn’t care about what would happen.
- Took command of a very tiny playing space (i.e., it was in a theatrical dressing room)

Negatives
- Scared, nervous, only “in” the monologue about 30% of the time. The other 60% of the time felt like I was just saying lines when the time came, lines without specifics, without thoughts . . .

Words without thoughts never to heaven go – Claudius, Hamlet 3-2.
As perfect a description of bad acting as there will ever be.

- Moved without real reason.

Problem – why was the monologue so much better at home?
Solution – day of the audition, only the run the lines with the ‘specifics’ in mind, then DON’T do the monologue until the audition. The rational here is that each time I practice the monologue, the first run seems best, more interesting, more intuitive.

Suggestions
- The tiny audition space took me by surprise, so do the monologue standing & sitting only. Switch attention between Helena and one or two other objects, no more then this.
- Slow down! Just like ‘taking-it-off’ the page: breath and let the thought/feeling, ANY thought/feeling, come, and then just say the line. Do not worry if nothing comes – let intuition take over. Let myself be surprised.

Audition Goals (as of 12/06/2004):
1. Don’t EVER play it safe – NEVER anticipate what they might “want.”
2. Cultivate the attitude of “who cares” concerning the o/come. Getting a part is a question of bringing the “right” ingredients, at the right time, to the theatrical kitchen – I can’t predict/control these two variables (i.e., the right ingredients at the right time), but I can ALWAYS choose to do goal #1: whatever the right ingredients are, they will express themselves in the released, intuitive, moment.