May 2005 Archives

Dennis called the other day: The Librarian will be screened by the Brooklyn College Film Department in the Gershwin Theatre next Wednesday at 4PM.

I won't be able to attend, but I'll get a DVD of the movie in a couple of weeks: I'm a bit anxious to see it: The Librarian was my first time on camera, it wasn't a minor role, and I was pretty theatrical/physical with "The Boss" (my first real "character," I'm not sure where he came from). I played him like I was on stage, which -- I learned from a film acting book I read after the shoot (because I never thought I would get cast) -- can be a mistake on film.

But, maybe I should just take a deep breath and watch it -- study it: if I look ridiculous, my excuse can be I had no training and no experience, all true -- but they did cast me way back in October, so they must have thought I was OK. I considered myself quite fortunate to have gotten cast out of the blue with no on camera experience -- and it was fun to do! I really like these guys (Dennis, the Producer, and John, the Director), and the other cast members were very cool. It was a very enjoyable two day shoot, way out there in Brooklyn, on two perfect New York City sky blue fall days . . .

Panel, The Drama BookShop, 250 West 40th St., New York City:

Annie Chadwick, Up-to-Date Casting.
Joanna Merlin, author of Auditioning: An Actor Friendly Guide.
Marilynn Scott Murphy, Professional Artists.

Auditioning: preparation plus "in the moment" improv.

Annie, Joanna, & Marilyn, seasoned actresses and an experienced agent: warmly comfortable with themselves, inspiringly self-accepting and honest about themselves -- a very warm, open, positive panel

Some notes:

1) For cold readings (i.e., little to no preparation), learn to:

• throw out all pre-conceptions of the role: simply be "me" by
• responding/following any and all intuitions, any 'crazy' responses to the material
• find the sense, the objective, connect with it as well as I can, go for it

2) Becoming a reader in auditions is a great way to learn by seeing good (& bad) habits, approaches, attitudes. In fact, in 2001, I was a reader for one of Gabe's casting sessions. I really didn't know what to expect, but within mere seconds the experience hit me like ton of bricks . . .

. . . Immediately, I saw the importance of good, solid, connected cold reading skills -- and I saw what they are. I was blown away. Then and now, that memory of those actors has been my standard -- and my motivation. I'm going to see where I can do this. It is something -- esp. for a professional production -- where I would definitely find the time.
Some 'reader' skills: I follow, they (the person auditioning) lead. Support, don't draw focus.

3) What an agent looks for in a monologue audition: connection & understanding, i.e., sentence structure, beats, logic.

4) Great cold reading practice: In NYC, new plays and screenplays are being developed all the time. More and more, playwrights want to hear their plays. Participate in READINGS as much as possible.

Ok -- things to commit to, action-list from this workshop: 1) Being a reader, and 2) (really important) participate in readings.

OK. I've finally decided what to do: it's a combination of a long range plan (to play out over this year) and taking advantage of current opportunities. I see 3 tiers:

1st Tier) There's basic "acting," the basics, the craft of it. This I'm really in love with, I have a definite sense of how I work, what I think it's all about, and what I'm shooting for, and that's probably why I'm finding it difficult to find a class/teacher/coach that's the right fit. However, at some point, I do believe I'll find someone/someplace where I can focus just on the basics -- I have a lot to learn (a lifetime's worth), and planetary wide, NYC is hands down one of the best places to work with people who really know that they're doing, who can really facilitate anyone who wants to learn and grow. Currently, real performance, really doing it, is the best teacher. When I'm ready to bring someone else into what is for me a very intimate, personal, private process, then I think I'll naturally find someone to work with.

However, Jason Bennett's subpersonality work seems promising, and it makes intuitive sense to me. He presents them in short workshops. I think in the fall, I want to try this, see if it is something I can work with.

2nd Tier) Scene work with a focus on audition and working quickly (i.e., film). This is practical work: film and audition for film and theatre (unless it's a monologue audition) requires one to work quickly, deeply. Last week, I audited a class at Weist-Barron, an on-camera audition class, that felt right. I felt connected to the teacher, and how he works, how he thinks and communicates, and he went right to one of my trouble spots, with very good suggestions about how to work through them. If I don't hold back, takes risks, don't worry about my failures (I want to fail more!), I think I might get somewhere in terms of finding and living the simple heart of a scene, of a relationship, of the other, of my character. Keeping it simple and clear -- that's my goal.

Also -- practical monologue work: Working with a casting director, a very enthusiastic casting director, at One On One Productions. She seems to have a great eye, knows the theatrical literature, and will suggest monologues for people in the class. Occasionally, people in classes are sometimes cast in professional projects that the casting director is currently working on, but that's not my goal here (and I almost didn't take the class, because I thought if it was a quasi-casting session, that would be too advanced for me), but this class seems quite basic, so my goal is simply to find more appropriate material (and she's in a very good position to suggest material with an eye towards cast-ability, i.e., the monologue should be a type of character that you could realistically play, i.e., be cast in) and to improve my monologue skills. What I want to happen in a monologue seems to be becoming more clear to me: my targets are clearer.

I didn't want to take two classes at once, but if I'm disciplined and manage my time well, I should be fine and will get a lot out of both. The monologue class is only 5 weeks, the on-camera audition class is 12. For the next 5 weeks, work and then at night -- preparation -- that will be my life. The more I can give (prepare, work, go for it and let myself fall down), the more I'll get out of them.

3rd Tier) Basic audition classes taught by working casting directors, like those at TVI. The scene-study on-camera audition class @ Weist-Barron, should help as good preparation for these types of 'results' orientated classes.

Other parts of my training: Improv. Improv really falls into a tier 1 (foundation) type of training, and I can do that at anytime. I think after the monologue class ends in June, but before the scene study class ends, I'm going to take something at UCB. Then in the fall, go back to TVI (John's cold-reading class), but only one class at a time.

And, CRITIALLY: audition, Audition, AUDITION! I need to commit to doing this at least once a week (more if something seems promising). Class is no substitute for real experience.

So . . . that's the plan between now and through the fall . . . and keep risking, as much as I can, and stretching for things just out of my reach . . .

Auditing classes at TVI was a great experience -- in terms of practical training that focuses on auditions, working casting directors who teach/coach are a very good way to go.

Some notes, for myself, from the audits:

          Warm-readings (i.e., when I have a week or so to go over the sides):

• Find the "bottom line" -- commit to that, and drive through.
• Find three transitions, find them and don't hold back.
• Reacting to the reader, and most importantly, the subtext (where imagination will trump Meisner).
• 'Words are like weapons . . .' throw them, see them hit, see the reaction, take that in, take it all in.
• Take the energy of the other, of the moment, and throw it back. A big part of acting, I'm starting to think, is finding that exactly theatrical logic/structure that "creates" the game, and if you go with the game, with the flow, you're playing ball, and the stakes are high. This is very metaphorical w/out practical details and examples -- because I haven't experienced it that often, but by god that's going to change! -- but I'm absolutely convinced that this metaphor is at the heart of what brings energy, clarity, and a clear clean direction for each beat, each scene. Acting is a clear mind, and a strong heart.
• Really do everything. These things are not cold, and they're not just reading. Commit big-time, to everything.

          Questions asked of the students by Dani ...

• What's the scene about -- what's literally going on? Specifics, specifics, SPECIFICES
• What's at stake for the character -- identify/empathize with that.
• What's the scene about -- find the simple point, the bottom line, the heart. That drives everything.

           The biggest problem people had: ms-understanding the scene, getting distracted by or focus on non-critical elements, missing it's heart, and subsequently not finding it's heat.

This type of class is very much results orientated. You're not learning how to act, your learning how to get a call back, how to get cast. You'll get your weakness pointed out to you and some discussion of what your "targets" are, i.e., what you need to be doing up there, in front of a casting director. How you do that will be left up to you.
Thus, I think this type of class, while it was recommended for me, might be too advanced. I would certainty have things to shoot for, but w/out much guidance of how to hit those targets. Ideally, I'd want to work through my weaknesses, towards my targets, with a minimum of flailing around. I'm afraid with what little experience I have, I might be spending more time failing around then is good for me. It's really designed for people are are ready to start auditioning professionally. So, I'm going to put this type of class/training on hold.

Audits are going well. John's cold reading class at TVI is 1) exactly what I was looking for and 2) John is very good -- tough, but a sharp eye, very supportive, and a lot coaching: unusual attention from a casting director. Listening and watching John, it seems I'm on the same page as he is in terms of what he feels should be happening up there (i.e., I "got" what he was saying) and he uses the same vocabulary as I do (again, this helped me to "get it"). This is definitely a class I'll be taking, but probably not now . . .(more later, once I've finalized what I'm going to do)

Tomorrow, 5.19.5, there's another on camera (Film) class at Weist-Barron on 35 West 45th Street (Times Square again). I talked/interviewed with the instructor on the phone today. Sounds like a very good class, but you don't know until you get there and see someone work.

These audits are invaluable for evaluation.

So, things are going well, I'm finally feeling better about taking classes, and a summer through fall "plan" is starting to come together -- the right class, and the right teacher are key. A lot more work than I thought, finding the right potential classes (based on my weakness and what I feel is right for me) and the right teacher, but . . . it's been a surprisingly enjoyable process. Once I commit to a finalized plan and jump in -- then I'll get scared.

But, it's time now, to start formal training . . .

Since it was about the 100th time that what I was doing wasn't really working, I finally decided to change my strategy.

It was a open call for film, a multi-media company in Harlem, right off of Central Park North. This audition was unusual (for me) because they made the sides available on the web.

Friday night, I tried my new strategy (5.5.5 entry), and after an hour, I was quite confused about what exactly was going on the scene: the end result was clear enough, but I couldn't find the best way to get there. So I just went to bed, and after a good night sleep, I tackled the scene again in the morning, and suddenly it was more clear how exactly to play it, where the beats where, the points of inflection. I worked for about an hour, kicked around the loft, relaxed, napped, and then at 3pm headed uptown for the 4pm open call.

A beautiful Saturday. I had never been to that part of Harlem -- 110th street is really some kind of line of demarcation, where Harlem starts. On the west end is Morningside Heights and St. John the Divine, world's largest cathedral, and apparently still under construction. A beautiful area of Harlem.

Anyway, was late because it took much longer to get uptown than anticipated, and I managed to get turned around and walked in the wrong direction after exiting the Cathedral Parkway Station. However, the director was gracious and allowed me to read even though the auditions had ended.

After the reading, she was quite complementary -- she asked how long I had worked on the sides, and she liked the transitions and the fact that I understood the transitions, so my "research" was very good. She was warm and friendly, and we had a short, pleasant late Saturday afternoon chat about her company while we overlooked the park.

It was relief to see/feel improvement, and it was great to get complimented on my "warm" reading.

As I get better, I find myself getting more ambitious: I would love to get really good, and, at least that afternoon, I could imagine/see myself, with time, work, & experience, getting very good at this. I've got a long way to go, but w/patience, persistence, hard work . . . (hope, pray, wish!)

Before the Thu auditions, I took a weekend audition workshop, monologues and cold reading. To help people, the casting director running the workshop asked for a volunteer to be a listener, someone the monologue auditioneers could "use," i.e., look at and talk to -- it gives them something/someone to focus on rather than an imaginary point on a wall. I volunteered.

It was surprisingly wonderful to have these characters talking to me -- and my job was simply to listen. I felt privileged and honored. I felt what they were saying to me was so special, so important, humanly important, personally and deeply important, that to listen fully was the highest form of respect I could show, and I deeply respected each one of these characters -- it was such an act of intimacy and bravery to tell me their story. I could have listened all day, every day . . .

This is what I like so much about acting (& cold reading) -- getting to know these characters, either by empathizing or listening, is a real act of intimacy . . . a level of intimacy that I don't really have (that often) in my own life. But I guess I could listen like that anytime, just take someone in, really take them in.

Anyway, that's what I really love about it all -- there's no hiding: all love, no fear . . . what acting really is.

oh yeah, got a callback today. Almost forget what that was . . .

Visited TVI, located in the Actors Equity Building just off of Broadway & Times Square. They are a major professional training ground geared towards working actors offering classes that range from acting and auditioning classes (basic, intermediate, and advanced) up to TV & Film Casting Director workshops -- these are real auditions, and no one (in their right mind at least) takes these until their audition technique (& confidence and poise) is rock solid. Additionally, they help actors focus on the business/marketing side of their career, again -- advanced serious stuff. It's an impressive place with a lot of resources.

Moi? I'm now obsessed with cold reading (the more I think about it, the more central & fundamental I see it's place in the universe): how does it ALWAYS begin? Bam! Words that you've never seen before are now in your hand. It's like being almost physically intimate with a different person each day . . . it's like that -- it will always begin like that, so how you approach it is a fundamental skill that (if cast or whatever) will set everything in motion. It's cool. It's way more than just a marketing tool, in my opinion. It's not all of "acting," but it is a critical component, having to do with spontaneity & being in/going with the moment in rehearsal or performance (an improv class, throwing myself into the demands of that kind of performance, may help).

I am determined to be the best I can be at this, and if I can get better and better -- that would be heaven.

Today I meet a representative, Kristi, who asked me what I was interested in, and she unexpected told me that she'd like to have me cold read a couple of sides in order to see where I was with cold reading and what class(es) might be best for me. Well, I think all my practice has been paying off -- she thought I might try the intermediate rather than the beginner cold reading class. That was a pleasant surprise, and an intermediate class would have the benefit of stretching me, which I think I need to do now. In any event, next week (Monday & Tuesday), I'll audit both classes & make a gut choice.

On Wednesday morning, I'll try to audit CFP's private acting class -- man, it would be great to have the time and $$ to spend a good part of my week doing this (i.e., 10 or so hours a week, with the right teachers and classes could be -- in fact, I think would be -- very helpful). In any event, I am determined to do what I can with the resources that I have, and I'm very grateful for the opportunities that I do have to formally study and learn. So, I'll just start with where I am and see what that tells me about where I need to go.

Finally, worked with Glenn at bit this last Tuesday, looking for comedic monologues. It was a good session -- I'm still very nervous around an acting teacher/coach (esp. 1 on 1), but this is a sign that I need to be much more proactive in setting the agenda and pace (see the end of yesterday's entry). This is a relationship I would like to develop someday with someone -- that should happen when it's time for it to happen.

So -- finally, I'm addressing the need for training, a goal set in early January of this year. In a way, it's worked out the way I wanted: I wanted some real world experience with auditioning & performing before taking classes, and I found all of that very rewarding, but now I'm starting to flail a bit -- not so much at what I've been doing, but I think at what I want to be doing. I can feel myself trying to stretch now, ready to stretch.

This was clearly one of my goals for the year, but it hasn't been until now that I've had the $$ -- or the need.

One great guide to "acting" is Harold Guskin's (paradoxically titled) "How to Stop Acting." I've found the application of his technique quite useful for cold reading and for initially approaching material. It forces me to work from my intuitions, instincts, and impulses, right off the bat. It's advantage -- when it works -- is that I think (I hope) what I'm doing is interesting, surprising (at least to me), and unique (i.e., working from myself), and I think it's a very good way to train and get used to working.

However, during these cold readings, I've been flat lining.

I'm not sure why, but I know I can do better.

Two things need to happen:

1) I need to add to my technique, and I think I know at least what to try:

        First pass through the material: don't read through it -- just silently take-it-off-the-page, go moment-by-moment, seat of my pants, and see what structure/shape (i.e., beats, tone) emerge. Also, this can sometimes give me a surprisingly good feel for the character, what he wants without trying to 'figure out' before hand what he wants. This step can help personalize the character for me, engage my imagination, intuition. But -- it's not enough (or it certainty hasn't been lately). Again, remembering to breathe and simply take my time is still a problem, so keep practicing daily.

       Second pass through the material: NOW read it, and here Tony Barr's advice ("Acting For The Camera") is very good-- he writes about preparing for a film role, but I think his techniques can be applied during the time before a cold reading, which can be anywhere from 10 minutes to half an hour, or more. Anyway, his advice, which I think is excellent, is to pay allot of attention to the other persons lines looking for the triggers that cause my character to say what he says (p. 60, 68, & chapter 14). David Ball's "cause & effect" -- Meisner's "reactions;" My goal, right or wrong (at least for now) is to really react -- not act. The goal of this second pass is to find the main BOTTOM LINE (Barr, p. 66). What does the character BASICALLY want. Breathe that in.

      The audition: LET IT ALL GO -- Breathe in the BOTTOM LINE, but don't try to do anything: it'll all be Meisner at that point: listen, breathe, and react without thinking. Follow the moments, stay connect to my partner and what's going on while I'm picking up the lines (when I practice, work for this).

2) I need to get into a good cold reading class where the teacher/coach is willing to let me work this way, or work with the way I like to work (or at least the way I feel I need to work). Anyway, this would be great, if I could find it.

I guess I've been reluctant to take a class, to work with anyone, because I'm afraid it'll be:

    a) too much head-driven script analysis, similar to my "second pass" above, but too disconnected from the script, in my opinion, or

    b) too much emphasis on "emotion," trying to find the character's "emotion" by "thinking" or "reasoning" about what that character is feeling and then using emotional recall or some other (to me) heavy-handed approach at personalizing the character

OK, what else do I need to be doing? Practicing sight-reading daily (or as much as I can): this, at least, is seems to be paying off: the raw physical mechanics of cold reading is getting easier, e.g., I'm able to just move my eyes rather than my whole head from the page to my (imaginary) partner (i.e., a point on the wall), and I seem to be better able to rapidly extract meaningful phrases from the text, picking up meaningful 'chunks,' rather than a certain number of words that may or may not comprise a phase. Anyway, the mechanics of cold reading seems to be getting easier, and that's actually a big help.

Do all of this daily, or at least as much as I can (in addition to working on monologues). And just pace myself -- it's not a race. Just an hour a day -- that's plenty, and if I can do this 4 times per week (but sight-read for 10min each day), that would be great.

Man . . . I cannot believe how goddamn hard I'm working at this . . . but I really love it when it all goes well (& I'm not even thinking about how it needs to go well if I ever want to get cast in something again), and I hate it when it doesn't. Blowing a cold reading -- it's like missing that wonderful opportunity, that special, magical moment when you could have kissed someone you're crazy about, but you chicken out or got nervous and botched it. I hate that.

Also -- I don't think till now I realized just how proactive (and brave) I need to be if I work with a coach or teacher -- they can't really teach me anything in the traditional sense. I really need to go balls-out, take chances, take risks, don't back away from anything because of fear when I'm working with someone. . . my instincts tell me that if I can do this -- if I do this -- I might grow as an actor, which is what I want, more than anything . . . maybe this, what I just wrote, is what I really need to learn, one of the most important things I need to learn how to do.