Closet: Opening night, New York City, Thursday July 21st, 2005, a steamy festive hot July summer night on the lower west side . . .

Well, it went well. What a relief! And, I have to admit, I didn't give the play itself enough credit -- the audience laughed, and much more than I anticipated. And I was much funnier than I anticipated -- I was fully prepared to, well . . . suck.

After, the director was effusive with her complements and told us all that we had done very well, which was very gratifying to hear.

Another director gave me a big compliment on something I've always (secretly) prided myself on - my comic timing -- which she said was great! That was very nice to hear because it reaffirmed what I've always felt was a relative strength, and it's one of the important things I wanted to bring to the role, to the production.

Whenever I feel better, because I've thought/felt that I've done a good job, I always spontaneously turn to these two questions:

What is good theatre, what is good acting?

Partial answer: Good acting is theatricality infused with truth, or truth shaped by theatricality. Real life is always true, but it's not always interesting to watch.

95% of my theatricality feels like an affectation or a glimmer of the truth, but not full blown truth. I think I've got a better handle on theatricality than I do on truth. I have a hard time, usually, remembering what happened during a performance, but I do remember clearly the cracks, the blanks, the indicating of a moment that's just not there. And that's good, I hope, i.e., if I can see when and where the performance cracks, then I have a chance to do something about it -- it's telling me something about how I work as an actor, and what I need to learn.

My bad acting is really a teacher, if I can just listen closely enough, i.e., . . .

Question:

we do the "logical" indication, but how do we know what indication to use (e.g., the gesture of the back of the hand to the forehead to indicate distress)?

Two answers/issues:

1. If I find myself indicating a moment, it just might mean that I haven't gone down deep enough, and maybe there is a tiny truth inside me, just enough to tell me not only how to indicate but also how to find a deeper truth. When this happens in rehearsal, just try breathing into what's going on -- don't rush to the indication.
2. It could also be that I don't trust the truth to read, and so I indicate. Again, give myself a chance to succeed in these moments rather than rushing to an indication.