Brooklyn, New York, September 21, 2005, 10:30PM, full hazy moon, warm, tropical, starry . . .
I saw a shooting star on the way home tonight, and I made a wish . . .
. . . listening to a song/video I love, I made a wish to be an actor (and in a tiny, tiny voice, where no one can hear, to be ... an artist), to make real the great beauty that I love, to make real the way Life really is, the way it ALL really is -- body, heart, and mind . . . where truth really is . . .
. . . maybe a silly wish . . . maybe not
The obstacle is the path
~ Zen Saying
Started Jeffrey Zeiner's more advanced on-camera/technique class tonight. Terrified -- it was the first class, and everyone looked so confident and experienced and . . . they all knew each other, laughing, joking around. I busied myself reading Michael Shurteff's great book: Audition (as this class is part audition training, I plan on putting Michael's book to extensive use).
My turn came about 2 hours into the class, after several dramatic improved scenes, and then my turn -- I told myself to do really only two things: 1) don't hold back, i.e., follow all impulses as best I can, and 2) listen-breathe-respond without thinking. There where dramatic constraints on the scene: specific circumstance and open and ending behaviors and attitudes (I'll be writing about all this later on), but the "engine" of the scene was those two goals. . . and I told myself to put 90% of my attention on how the other person is feeling, 10% on what they're saying . . .
It was the best class work I had ever done, and -- greatly relieved -- I once again held my own against some fairly experienced people.
My biggest challenge, aside from the challenges of the class performance demands themselves, will be to export what I'm doing/learning into the "real world." Class is a very safe place, comparatively. The "real world" can play pretty rough. The real value of class for me will be how much better I'll be able to navigate the "real world." So -- audition, audition, audition, and try to get something before years end.
Enough for tonight.
Tomorrow @ 10am I have a wardrobe fitting for the filming of "Margaret" down near Washington Square Park. Desiree booked me, background work -- will be shooting late this Sunday and into early Monday morning and then again on Sunday Nov. 6th. Coincidentally enough, Abe, a guy I meet during a TV shoot last fall, will be down in wardrobe with me. With luck, It'll be a chance to ask him about his experience as a company member at 13th Street Repertory.
