Preparation. Pre-Scene & Beat #1: Picnic (William Inge) , Howard & Rosemary. Interview with Howard.

Since early Nov., I've been doing a lot of Guskin's taking-it-off-the-page, and that's been very good in helping to keep the scene grounded in myself. I've also been doing some preliminary thinking about what Howard wants, rudimentary 'beat' analysis, something I resist for as long as possible in favor of taking it off the page. Guskin says he started out with a lot of scene analysis, 'designing' the beats for maximum theatrical/truthful effect (or at least that's what I do), but then later came to feel constrained by this apporach, and now he seems to stick with just taking it off the page (or that's the primary technique).

I'm starting to suspect that this would only work for experience actors -- Guskin didn't solely rely on this technique until after he had years and years of professional performance experience under his belt. I think for me I definitely need to start and stay taking-it-off-the-page as long as possible, but then, I feel I need to got start "thinking" about the scene: analysis, beats, objectives, etc. -- but without getting into and staying in my head during rehearsals.

I'm hoping this two-staged approach will work to that end.

As the performance dates close in on me, I'm moving into stage two -- scene analysis. Last night, I VERY carefully concentrated on what Rosemary is saying, what she is doing, and then finding (not thinking about, but spontaneously discovering) how Howard reacts to that. This immediately brought up a series of questions (preparation homework as JZ likes to call them).

Right off the bat, I've got to know, in detail, what happens before the scene starts -- and then start the scene with that. If successful, that will start the scene off on the right foot, and the subsequent steps will be much easier because I'll have momentum and pre-existing context -- at least that's my hope. Some of H's early responses raised other questions. These questions came up as I work through the first couple of beats. I'm trying to prepare to work with these beats -- the next step will be to be more explicit about what H wants.

The idea here is to build up connections between the explicit and implicit 'given circumstances' and ... me, parts of me.

Question: How do you see R. How do you see your relationship?

                What's R like? At times she has the personality of a tank, and I wouldn't want to get on her bad side. She's funny -- she can get quite preachy, but it's possible to get her to relax (thought it usually takes a little Jack D); she can let her hair down, but only if she thinks it's safe to do so, i.e., she's sure no one will judge her shallow or inappropriate. She has a fun side -- that's clear to everyone, yet at the same time, she's very proper. Part of the fun of being with R is getting her to let her hair down, and I can usually do that. If I couldn't, I don't know if we'd be together, because she can be a pain. She's very opinionated and independent, and I like that -- at least the independent part.

                 So why do you date her? Well, like I said, she's fun to be with -- but you gotta get to know her a bit before you know that. That's what initially attracted me to her. This smart, independent, outgoing, funny, respectable, proper woman who has a bit of hidden fun streak. If I couldn't get her to give into that fun streak (and I've got a fun streak a mile long, let me tell you), then it probably just wouldn't work. And she's a good friend. She's a good person, and I like that.

                 Do you love her? Well, I don't know about that. She's a very good friend. Ummm . . . I don't think about that question really. It's a little too early in our relationship to think about that. I like her and we have fun.

                 How do you think R feels? Oh, well, I think she feels the same. Look, we're not kids, we have our developed, separate lives. She's a school teacher, I own a five & dime in Cherryvale, just off of S. Liberty street a block up from Logan Park -- it's pretty big, been expending for the last 5 years. Times are good. I'm even thinking about opening another store on the other side of town. During the school year, I drive over to Independence on the weekend (during the summer, like now, I can stay a bit longer: she's not teaching and the summer is usually slow for me so I can close up early or just have Fred Jenken's mind the store for me if I leave early on a Friday or get back late on Monday) -- she boarders with Mrs. Owens and I stay at the hotel in town. I can afford that. Besides, Kansas is a dry state, and I know some boys at the hotel who run a speakeasy in the back. I like coming over to visit R, and we sure have a good time.

Question. What happened after the picnic and before you got back to Ms. Owens?

R was "awful nice" to me after the picnic. Near dark, as the picnic was ending, as people started leaving, R & I, not drunk, but tipsy, gathered up our stuff, picnic basket, blankets, and discreetly moved away from everyone until we found a quite, isolated spot. We had to be very discreet -- Mrs Owens, a very nice lady, but she's the town hawk -- eyes and ears on everything. We took pains to make sure she didn't notice. R looked very beautiful. We laid down together . . .

I feel like -- yes! Mission accomplished! It's a great victory. I really liked (love maybe) R -- she can be fun to be with -- in front of everyday folks, she's quite proper (almost too much), but yet she can let her hair down. Now I have even more reasons to get over to Independence -- maybe even more than 2-3 times/week! But afterworlds, she was ... different. I mean, we were laying there, looking up a the stars. I had my left arm around her. I mean, I didn't do anything. I was the way I always was, and suddenly she was acting depressed or pre-occupied about something. I don't know, but I felt uncomfortable . . . like I was doing something wrong and I didn't quite know what to do that was right . . . I'm hoping that it isn't about that -- I don't even want to think about that . . .

<NOTE: I, the "actor," know full well what's going on, but Howard doesn't. Again, the trick is to focus solely how on H sees things, imagine how he feels, what he wants. If this were a real scene, it would be difficult. It's also possible that this isn't possible. Perhaps I should "use" what I know -- I know exactly what she wants, explore how I/he feels about that and start the scene that way...interesting. My gut tells me that Howard just isn't this aware . . . in the scene, however, Rosemary MAKES him very aware, and that's why I don't want to start with what "I" know>.

So I said, OK -- we better go, get back. R, you know how she is, wanted to stay longer, but it was getting late, I was getting tried, and I needed to get back to Cherryvale. Once R gets an idea in her head, it's damn hard to get it out, but I insisted that we had to leave and R, unusual for her, was not very talkative on the way back -- that was a bit tense, but I figured she was tired or maybe a bit mad at me for wanting to leave, but the park was getting dark, everyone had left. I tried talking to her as we drove back, but something was up, I don't know what. Sometimes she get's moody, I don't know what to say, and so I just leave her alone.

Anyway, I'm really too tired, in fact, really tried, to talk about anything anyway -- Cherryvale's a hour's drive -- whatever it is, if it's important, if it's about what happened tonight, can wait till next Saturday when I get back to see her.

Question. Ok, you're back at Ms. Owens -- what is going on with Rosemary, do you think? How do you feel?

Me -- I'm dead tried, really. It was such a long day. We had been drinking through most of it. I'm feeling pretty wiped out. And R, at the park, was acting a bit clingy -- occasionally she'll get like that, and I can't say as I like it really -- I don't know why. And on the way back, she was tense, quiet, and I just don't want to deal with it. Maybe it has something to do with what happened tonight, and about how I couldn't stay. What's going on with her -- why is she so monosyllabic? Is it . . . (briefly suspecting something deeper going on with her, but pushing that back): Look -- she doesn't want her vacation to end, even though it's over. Summer's over. She's like that. Good grief, it's just a week -- I'll be back in a week. Whatever is going on, either she'll forget about it (I hope) or it'll all be in a different light next week, but the moon fully up -- in fact, it's 1am & it's starting it's descent. The stars are out, it's a beautiful cool night, and I'm so looking forward to the peaceful ride home, the wind, the quiet, smoking a cigarette (something else R does like me doing), and then falling into bed, and then starting the new season, kids going back to school, everyone coming back from vacation, and opening a brand new store for them all. I'm worried about what's going on with Rosemary -- was tonight a mistake? The sooner I can get away, the better, I think.

Beat 1

Pre-scene thoughts/focus: R is acting strange/tense. 1) Is she OK, about tonight? 2) Were we discreet enough? 3) I want to leave and put some distance between tonight and when we next meet, next weekend probably. I feel a strong need for "space."

Wants and hopes/expectations: Reassurance -- is R OK, were we discreet enough? I'm hoping R will snap out of whatever state she's in -- something's different about her. I'm also hoping that NOBODY suspects what happen tonight. It'll be easier to manage, and R is discreet -- in fact, she was insistent about this at the Park: I thought I'd have to wait forever . . . now I'm kind of wishing I did. <PERFORMANCE GOALS: wants and expectations -- this is the only place where my attentions will be . . . I've no idea how R will response. The Key, the GOLDEN KEY, will be to just respond to whatever she's giving me. Of course, H, when he doesn't get what he needs here, this motivates him to leave, but this can't be a planned response -- it needs to be triggered naturally. If I can do that, I'll have started the scene off on the right foot>.

11 . 27 . 2005 (Sunday): The above is too complicated i.e., I'm not really concerned we're were not discreet enough. Beats are about ONE SIMPLE THING.

Starting thought/state: Rosemary is upset about what happened tonight. And she's not talking to me. The subtext here is all I'm trying to do is get her to talk to me about what's going on. I know what I want -- I want tonight NOT to be a big deal. I'm worried: I'm hoping that she's really OK. It would be great to get some reassurance that she is.

(By opening night, 12 . 12 . 2005, I had simplified this beat even more -- so, this is one way I think too much: things are too complicated. Really, I have one simple goal: to get home. True, I'm aware R isn't talking, something is going on, I really don't know about what, really (and that's very Howard), and calling it a night is really the best thing. One mistake I had made was assuming (anticipating really) what R was upset about -- I really don't know, and getting home gets me out of that anyway. The note to myself: my goal is to go home, that's my target. Slow down, relax, let her know I had a good time, say good night, and just go home, that's all I'm doing. Dramatically, this is great because a lot of what is dramatic in the scene are what David Ball calls "forwards," i.e., R starts things, almost out of the blue, Howard never sees it coming, and that's a big forward for everyone, i.e., what the heck is about to happen, where is this going -- it's very dramatic for Howard).

Howard.
  Well here we are honey, right back where we started from.
Rosemary.
  uhh...

Howard.
  You were awful nice to me tonight Rosemary.
Rosemary.
  uhh...

Howard.
  Do you think Mrs. Owens suspect anything?
Rosemary.
  I don't care if she does.
  [12. 12. 2005: This triggers: Ok, that's my cue, I'd better go rather than get into this, whatever it is ...]

Howard.
  Well a business man's gotta be careful of talk. And after all, you're a school teacher. Well, I better be getting back to Cherryvale. I gotta open up the store in the morning. Good night Rosemary.
Rosemary.
  uhh...

Howard.
  Good night. Maybe I should say good morning. (He starts off)
Rosemary.
  Where you goin' Howard?