Recently in Cold Readings Category

I had a cold-reading audition tonight, and they cast me on the spot: I was cast in a stage adaptation of the film Angel Heart, directed by Alan Parker.

The stage adaptation and direction is by Christopher Dames. Angel Heart one of my favorite movies from the 80's -- click on Angel Heart link to see the trailer.

I'll be playing two parts in two short scenes -- Dr. Albert Fowler (using my normal wild hair as Albert is a also a junkie) and Ethan Krusemark (a "respected" businessman, so I'll just slick my hair back and do a small change in costume).

It's a relatively short run, but a great opportunities because 1) the story is strong, 2) the original screenplay is great, and 3), it's a first for me: to play two different characters in the same play. (Actually, I'll be working on 3 different characters between now and the end of the year because the second cast for the Jewish Theater of New York's production of The Last Jew In Europe goes into rehearsal the first week of November).

How to Rise the Stakes

A couple of weeks ago, I had a cold reading audition. It went well (though ultimately I didn't get cast).

I thought I would try to get more out of my audition experience by taking the opportunity to do an audition "post-mortem" at Word of Mouth @ A/C Studios. I wrote Deborah the follow email:

Hey Deborah,
       Tomorrow, could we take 10-15 to do a post-mortem of an audition I just did. The sides where from a play (attached), just pages 43-44, and I was Donny. Basically, Donny is a pedophile (another one! :), and the short scene is about Donny trying to convince his wife Ellen to stay home (the real reason being he's afraid of what he might do with his daughter if let alone with her).
       I read the scene once, and then the director said he wanted me to read it again but "raise the stakes." He explained the context of the scene to me, i.e., the real reason why Donny is trying to convince Ellen to stay home, but I already understood this. So, my instincts told me that the director wanted to see a "guilty" Donny, or basically, play/show the "subtext" somehow. I could have been wrong, but that's how I interpreted his direction.
      My next instinct was NOT to do that, i.e., I choose NOT to "indicate" or "show" the subtext, but then I found myself not sure what to do other than what I had just done, but just breathe deeper, slow down, etc. Anyway, my question is -- what should I have done with that direction? Were my instincts correct? I wanted to do a bit of post-mortem, 10-15min or so, and get your advice. Thanks Deborah.

- Cheers,
Christopher

Deborah wrote back:

We’ll talk about what the director meant. You were right to not be obvious or indicate the subtext but I’ll explain what he was talking about . . .

Had an invited audition on Wednesday -- reading prepared sides. The material was very well written (the plays have been accepted for the New York International Fringe Festival). I had several days to prepare, my cold-reading skills have been improving (thank god -- I've been working hard enough at it), the characters they wanted me to audition for were clear, and I felt I understood them quite well . . .

Very minor differences win and lose auditions. (p. 158)
      - JoBe Cerny, I Could Have Been a Cabdriver... but I Became an Actor Instead: A Practical Guide to the Business of Professional Acting (Career Development Series)

It is striking to me (and has been so for awhile now) how professional these auditions need to be, and a "successful" audition that one feels good about is a combination of performance and attitude.

Attitude: They (the auditors) are not there to help me, I'm there to help them. That's doing my job.

An actor is a freelance contractor. The producer/director is the client. I've worked as a freelancer before (outside of show biz). Then, it was a lot like auditioning -- it was auditioning. I meet with the client, usually accessing their needs before hand, and then during the 'audition,' I told them what they needed and how I would meet that need. Most freelancers come to soon realize that while their clients are good guys, very smart, they're really ...well ... idiots when it comes to knowing what they want. This is the attitude you have to have -- clients don't really know what they want, what they need. You, the contractor, tell them what they need. If you believe they don't really know what they want, this helps you to be proactive, i.e., it's your job, that's why you're there, why they need you.

Only about 10% of the theatrical audition is the actual performance (the monologue, the reading) -- 90% of the audition is everything else that happens from the moment you walk into that room to the moment you walk out, and that 90% of the time is equal in importance to the remaining 10% . . . the auditors (producer/director) are not there to help me, I'm there to help them.

Just about every good book/class on auditioning stresses this, but it's finally starting to sink in. 90% of one's time in an 'audition' is a professional job interview. Having interviewed as much as I have over the last year and half in a tough NYC job market, I quickly learned you don't f**k around when it comes to an interview -- they're not easy to find, and they are a big deal.

The great thing about NYC is that I could, conceivably, audition almost every day if I wanted to (I'm actually shooting for 1-2 times/week now that I'm taking classes for the summer). Every audition I go on I get a chance to practice this 'attitude.' I don't think that I have a firm grip on the specifics of this attitude (yet), but always realizing that I'm the contractor and they are the client and keeping the true nature of that relationship clear should help me get better and better at proactively handling that 90% of an audition.

Performance: OK -- here, as always, is where I need work. I do seem to learn allot each time I audition -- my goal/prayer is that I can use it to become better at auditioning.

Wednesday's audition was for a non-union, non-paid job, but it was high level nevertheless, i.e., a serious off-Off-Broadway production team, experienced and ambitious.

         Positives: I prepared well and I understood the characters and the scenes: I'm getting better and faster at this.

         Negatives: I'm still not fully confident (brave) and fully engaged (focused). Getting better, but still not where I would LOVE to be. First, I didn't really fully connect with the readers (the producer and writer, who were not actors). I didn't use the space, the room. In short, I fell back on my preparation, giving a reading as I prepared it on my own, doing some minor blocking, again as I prepared. Not bad, but not good enough.

         I need to learn how to be more fully engaged in the moment with the reader and the environment during an audition. The mistakes, I think, were doing things as I prepared them, but when the time came, they seemed a bit decoupled from the moments as they were actually happening, e.g., I gestured towards the cave, but I didn't "see" it. I didn't talk TO Moe -- I talked AT Moe. Doing blocking, making gestures when it was "time" to make them, talking AT rather than TO the readers -- those were my mistakes.

But . . . call me crazy . . .a part of me can almost feel myself, almost see myself, being fully engaged, and I honestly think I can get better (I pray I'm not kidding myself) . . . how I'm going to improve, I'm not exactly sure, but here's what I'm doing now:

1. Going out on auditions -- and blowing them if necessary (and if that happens, limiting any clinical level depression to 24 hours max).
2. I've started meeting with a cold-reading/audition workout group on Saturdays. We rent a rehearsal room, and the goal is simply to practice/rehearsal auditioning, either with practice material or material that someone will used for an actual upcoming audition. We've just started, and I'm hoping a core group of committed people will form. If not, I'm going to start my own group. Either way, I think/hope this type of 'practice' will be very helpful.
3. I'm going to contact an acting coach -- if I sign up for one session, I'll get another one for free. I'm just going to ask this guy to cold read with me, get some professional tips and insights, and then take what I've learned into our Saturday 'audition workouts.'
4. Patience. Just ... have fun learning and growing. Don't put all my focus on being great, "arriving" right now -- or else! Cultivating a great attitude, learning how to prepare and perform will take time. Acting and auditioning well requires a high skill set. Acting well is highly skilled labor.
5. Have patience -- and don't give up. Even if it seems like I'm getting nowhere, seems like I keep making the mistakes, remind myself of something I heard long ago . . .

           . . . before machines, men had to break great boulders into pieces with huge heavy hammers which they would thunderously rain down on these boulders. Blow after blow, hour after hour, day after day, and – nothing would happen: the boulder would remain: mute, impassive, eternally unmoved… however, inside, out of sight, beyond awareness, great internal forces began to reverberate, tiny internal shifts started to appear, equations began to unbalance, and then suddenly — it would just give way.

Things happen when they are ready to happen.

Since it was about the 100th time that what I was doing wasn't really working, I finally decided to change my strategy.

It was a open call for film, a multi-media company in Harlem, right off of Central Park North. This audition was unusual (for me) because they made the sides available on the web.

Friday night, I tried my new strategy (5.5.5 entry), and after an hour, I was quite confused about what exactly was going on the scene: the end result was clear enough, but I couldn't find the best way to get there. So I just went to bed, and after a good night sleep, I tackled the scene again in the morning, and suddenly it was more clear how exactly to play it, where the beats where, the points of inflection. I worked for about an hour, kicked around the loft, relaxed, napped, and then at 3pm headed uptown for the 4pm open call.

A beautiful Saturday. I had never been to that part of Harlem -- 110th street is really some kind of line of demarcation, where Harlem starts. On the west end is Morningside Heights and St. John the Divine, world's largest cathedral, and apparently still under construction. A beautiful area of Harlem.

Anyway, was late because it took much longer to get uptown than anticipated, and I managed to get turned around and walked in the wrong direction after exiting the Cathedral Parkway Station. However, the director was gracious and allowed me to read even though the auditions had ended.

After the reading, she was quite complementary -- she asked how long I had worked on the sides, and she liked the transitions and the fact that I understood the transitions, so my "research" was very good. She was warm and friendly, and we had a short, pleasant late Saturday afternoon chat about her company while we overlooked the park.

It was relief to see/feel improvement, and it was great to get complimented on my "warm" reading.

As I get better, I find myself getting more ambitious: I would love to get really good, and, at least that afternoon, I could imagine/see myself, with time, work, & experience, getting very good at this. I've got a long way to go, but w/patience, persistence, hard work . . . (hope, pray, wish!)

What the f**k is going on?

I've been applying Guskin's taking-it-off-the-page technique in practicing cold reading (see How to Stop Acting), and I seem to be having less and less success. I think trying to adhere to the mechanics of this approach has been distracting me (and Guskin warns NOT to treat it as a technique). I'm not sure where my attention is as I sight-read. I know it's taking a long time for me to pick up the phases, with little to show for it . . .

However, I occasionally have breakthroughs. I'm frustrated because I don't know exactly what's going on, but there's a VERY strong correlation between the speed of picking up a phase and the interval between picking up the phase and speaking -- with both variables, the shorter, the better. What happens, I don't quite know how (or more importantly, it's not stable, not reliable), is that an impulse forms as I pick up the phase and it's there, complete, as I end. When this happens, it's like I'm a speed reader with, I think, pretty good accuracy, but I'm not really paying attention to that at all.

The trick is to learn to trust my impulses. It's like I'm thinking with my gut rather than my head, and if I do that, sight reading becomes much easier, at times shockingly fast. I think the cause and effect runs this way, i.e., forcing myself to go fast won't work, unfortunately (if it were only that easy).

Recommendations. It's all like riding a bike (I hope). Remember how remarkable it was to see this miracle of someone riding on two wheels rather than three? Remember how I just couldn't believe I could do it when my father pushed me, and how I immediately crashed to the ground. Yet I kept trying (because I wanted to ride so bad), and then, after the 4th or 5th time, out of the blue, I was riding! And as as soon I looked down in disbelief, there was a shift of attention or awareness from riding to being aware I was riding, and down again I went. That's what this cold reading is like.

Just keep practicing, get used to 'letting go' -- that was the trick to riding a two wheeler. My body seems to know what to do.

Audition: Cold reading sides for Getting Out.
Director: Nina Pinchin.
Location: Vital Theatre Space, W. 42nd St., 3rd fl, NYC

. . . Notice everything around me, in this perfect moment, it's exactly what I need . . .

In 1983, the University of Miami Hurricanes suffered an egregious loss against their archrival, the Florida Gators, 28-3, one in a long line of losses for the team. In fact, during the '70s, the university had all but decided to drop their football program. The team was hardly swimming in self-confidence.

The loss was all the more painful because they had just completed a grueling training period w/three intense practice sessions a day under extreme pressure from their coach, Schnellenberger. Fearing the worse from Schnellenberger, and more than ready to lower their expectations, Schnellenberger instead exuded optimism and pushed for even tougher training, because he believed in his team.

Rather than present just a pep talk, he & his staff presented the team with cold hard evidence that they could win, i.e., they used film of the game to show how much talent and potential the team had, reminded them of the tough tests they mastered in practice. Positive expectations slowly transformed into experience: the team went from praying they would win, to hoping to they would win, to knowing that they could win, to expecting to win.

That year the Hurricanes beat Nebraska, the top seeded team, in a nail-bitingly close 31-30 win to capture the National Orange Bowl Championship. It proved Miami could win w/out superior talent in every position. The egregious loss against the Gators started a winning tradition in Miami that continues to this day.

The Vital Theatre Space, just off Times Square. It was one of the best theatres yet that I've auditioned in, and upon arrival, seeing the clean professional waiting room, the well-groomed, experienced, calm confident actors, I immediately felt completely out of place, very far from the way off-Off Broadway venues I've been traditionally trying to break into, and those have been hard enough! Scared -- for a few minutes I serious contemplated turning around and going home. But no --I wouldn't let myself. I signed in, I found a place to sit, and I began to try and relax and concentrate.

Positives

This perfect moment . . . I connected with my scene partner, and about 30% of the time, I took her in, I let her responses "hit" me, and then I looked down, breathed in, and then responded without anticipating, without thinking . . . this perfect circle, this perfect moment . . .

Negatives

70% of the time I rushed to pick up my lines, forgot to breathe, and I didn't give myself a chance to take her in and let myself respond.

Insights

What I found fascinating about the cold-reading was about 2/3rds of the way through, I finally started doing what I've been trying to train myself to do: take-it-off-the-page. And it worked like magic -- the difference was like night and day. Before, the reading was mechanical, uneventful -- but then, somehow, I let myself connect, and immediately my scene partner reacted, the energy stepped up, and I could feel the auditors lean forward. It was just a few lines, but it was enough to tell me what I need to do, to lead me where I need to go:

I've somehow got to get more practice in cold readings, learning to just let things happen. I believe I have enough a theatrical sense that I can heighten and make things interesting, but w/out that foundation of true unanticipated response . . . it's too hard, and you really can't carry it off: the moment devolves into 'indicating' and 'acting.' Somehow, I have to find a person or group to practice with -- just a few hours a week I believe would do a world of good. I'm burning to do this, but . . . how?

Some guidelines

1. Before a cold-reading audition, simply practice taking it taking-it-off-the-page and remember to breathe!
2. Before starting, remind myself to connect -- take my time -- right off the bat, to take-it-off-the-page, and to breathe!

Audition: Cold reading sides for a 'dark comedy,' Driving While Black & Other Felonious Funk.
Director: Ron Beverly.
Location: The Venue at St. James, Harlem.

The audition was in Harlem, near where I used to live, Hamilton Heights, an area definitely on the upswing. I've never seen such rapid city changes -- in fact, it's hard to imagine another city where neighborhoods change so quickly, noticeably, surprisingly, distinctively, within a span of only a few years . . . amazing -- it is a city aptly named: New York City

Positives

The side was a monologue, about a paragraph, with long sentences. I took my time, broke it up, and I connected with about half of it, and I gave it a very nice ending (i.e., a planned nice ending).

Negatives

The side was a monologue, about a paragraph, with long sentences -- that I found difficult to parse and chuck, and I didn't connect with about half of it, and when I looked down, I stumbled, momentary lost a couple of times.

Insights

OK -- it's far too easy to get rusty. Some points:

1. Theatricality. I've been trying to bring more of this in, but still afraid of overacting. This issue is actually starting to rise to the top of priorities in terms of what I want to accomplish. It's too much to go into here, but I believe I'm starting to push past where I've been with these cold readings, and 'planning' an ending, that I thought worked well, is sign I'm starting to tackle this issue: bringing in theatricality w/out indicating, w/out sacrificing where my instincts and impulses want to go -- it's the marriage of craft and real experience/risk that I'm struggling with. It's fun -- damn fun -- if I get it. The compliment I usually get (and I think they're sincere) is that I gave a 'nice' reading, but it lack dynamism and range. Becoming more theatrical and, as always, not holding back, is the path to what I want.
2. When sides have long sentences, before I'm called, spend time with them -- don't try to 'act' them or 'think' about them, just kind of memorize them. In fact, just get the lay of the land, hard to describe here, but I want to almost memorize without trying to do that and without trying to 'plan' or 'imagine' what will happen when I'm up there. The problem here is the damn mechanics of cold-reading . . . I'm still having technical difficulties with remembering to breath, getting distracted by having to look down and pick the words, rushing, etc. All of these are obstacles to connecting with the text.
3. Next time, right at the top -- SLOW DOWN!!!!!! -- since going too slow is what I'm afraid of, do exactly that right off the top. This will give me a chance to connect right away instead of half way through it.

      When I'm connected with the text, the pace takes care of itself. When I'm rushing, I'm NOT connecting -- I'm doing exactly that: rushing.

Audition: Cold reading of a very short side (single paragraph) for the role of a doctor in an industrial video (about malpractice)
Director: Kim ?
Location: ADM PRODUCTIONS, 40 SEAVIEW BLVD, PORT WASHINGTON, NY. 11050
Date: Monday, November 9th, 2004, 1PM.

This was my first audition for paid work: 2 days @ $300.00/day (minus 10% booking fee to Desiree, the casting agent).

Positives

A professional actors motto is: Be Prepared. Be Available.

As I'm semi-unemployed at the moment, I could take advantage of this opportunity in the middle of a workday. So, first positive -- I was simply available, and I got there early.

I had a great conversation with the taxi driver from the L.I.R.R. station to the studio: he's a guy that has come out of retirement as an independent manager for singers. He worked with major labels in the late 60's & 70's, and 80's, signing and managing artists. He recently felt the urge to work again, and was auditioning various singers who he thought were good -- but then he was instroduced to a young woman, and during an interview in a Starbucks, and she started to sight-read a sheet of music and sing (i.e., cold reading for singers) . . . and she blew him away. He didn't need to hear a recording of her voice. He knew she "was it."

As he drove (so caught up in the story that he was actually driving me to the wrong location), he continued:

you know, it was an epiphany. I've been in the music business for 50 years, and if I've finally learned one thing, it's this: I've listened to a lot of singers, and I always listened for quality of voice, technique, etc., but when I heard this girl, I realized, for the first time, that "talent," what one really has to offer -- comes from the heart. That's where she's really singing from, and that's what it is -- first and last -- finally, all about.

He was telling me a story about what happened to him -- he was also telling me what I needed to do today.

(P. S. Another advantage of leaving early -- when we arrived, I asked if he was sure that this was the place, and he realized it wasn't. I'm always so shy about asking questions, and I didn't want to suggest he had made a mistake, but I'm glad I paid attention to my suspicions and asked, and it turned out we were only a couple of block away from ADM).

Negatives & Solutions

He was telling me exactly what I need to do today, and -- he was telling me because I still need to learn how to do it, how to simply trust what I have to offer.

I made a mistake of making a choice that a "real" doctor would be restrained and in control, would not show much emotion (i.e. right away, I knew what to do -- and I rejected it). My big mistake was auditioning my stereotyped idea of a doctor rather than just respond intuitively, honestly, without thinking (too much). The result was just what I was aiming for: I "held back" and give a nice restrained audition. It wasn't bad -- but it wasn't good enough, and (more importantly), it wasn't as good as it could have been. More deeply, more simply, I was playing it safe, afraid of being "too big" or "too much."

Also, I didn't use all available information. For example, my character, in the scene, is walking with another doctor, taking to him. While it was just a paragraph from that scene, I should have imagined another doctor right next to me, and directed my comments towards "him." That would have helped me communicate and focus what I needed to communicate.

And what did I need to communicate? Kim, the director, told me: "you're bothered, concerned that this kid isn't getting better, and you're not sure why." Now, exactly how to use this type of direction will be the topic of my next entry, but because I was "acting" my idea of the character, I wasn't able to make full use of this direction.

(My intuitive response was to show more concern, perhaps even growing alarm and fear).

Finally, I didn't simply take-it-off the page. I still have trouble doing this effectively in an audition, but I'm worse off if I forget to do that -- and I forgot to do that because I forgot my little audition notebook that has notes reminding me about what to do before I go into an audition.

So, I still need to learn how to approach the entire audition experience, right down to making sure I've got everything, and I mean everything, together before I head out the door.

Audition: Cold reading of a short side (single page) for the role of The Customer in an independent feature Man Push Cart.
Director: Nicolas ?
Location: People's Improv Theater, 154 West 29th street.
Date: Tuesday, October 19th, 2004, 3PM.

This was my second on-camera audition, though there was nothing technically to it, i.e., Nicolus read the part of the lead and told me to look at/respond to him, not the camera.

Positives

The audition, *I think* went well -- again, just spontaneously/imaginatively bringing myself to just a few line (though it was very interesting scene). I did manage to surprise myself, about half the time, but . . .

Negatives

. . . I may have held back, and I have a hunch this has partly to do with not breathing. I get a bit nervous -- not a lot, thank goodness, but enough that I forgot to simply breathe, and if my breathing gets shallow, I feel I'm not as "out there" as I could be.

Also -- I need an audition bag. Inside goes: headshots, monologue notes, notebook, schedule, etc., and I need to get ready each night BEFORE the audition, so I'm just ready to go (i.e., address, map from mapquest -- Christ! it's a big city!)

Solutions

With this and other problems I've had in mind, here's a check list that I'll bring with me to each audition:

Breathe deeply to help avoid holding back.

1. Read the side(s):

    - read for literal understanding, unfamiliar words, awkward sentences.
    - let the images/feel come.
    - let a point view/center/”want” emerge.
      - find a starting image/place, e.g., where am I or what am I doing before I speak. Let this emerge or come to me.

2. Between step 1 and the actual audition (e.g., walking to the stage, saying my name to the camera, handing over my headshot):

    stay with what’s emerged in step 1 above: keep my concentration & focus (e.g., be the character, stay with the piece, stay “in” step 1 above )

3. Cold reading – SLOW DOWN!

     - start with an image or place or just where I am (i.e., if I can’t “be” where I’d like to be, then just “be” where I am, connect with that).

• Take my partner in – listen, feel.
• Look down, keep connected with the moment, take in a phase as I breathe in.
• Look up, and while breathing out – don’t wait, don’t think, just speak, say what I need to say, whatever comes up.

4. Finally:

I don’t give a shit about getting this part.
I give a shit about taking risks, surprising myself, not holding back.

Quick Note: after Joy's brithday party at Esperanto (way, WAY over on the lower East Side) Saturday night, I cruised back to Brooklyn at 2:30AM on the C, checked my voice mail, and I couldn't quite believe it: I was cast as The Boss in the Fornetti Production (student) film short The Librarian.

Interesting -- I didn't think it was my "type" at all, and in fact, thought I hadn't done well at all.

It's a supporting role -- 2-3 scenes, but not too many lines, and it'll be the first time working in front of a camera (more experience, in fact I think everyone involved is probably inexperienced) -- it should be quite interesting, i.e., no audiance . . . and, it's the start of a demo reel of film work, which is my other objective.

Shooting dates are 2004.11.04 (Thursday) through 2004.11.08 (Monday), and rehearsal seems to be for only one day, October 29th (Friday), but that should be time enough to get to know The Boss.

Film work . . . should be very, very interesting . . . I'm anxious to understand the technique of putting together a film: shooting, lighting, editing, framing, acting, directing -- very interesting!

Ok, it was a serious audition week -- 4 in total. The 3rd audition (at Ripley-Grier Studios (!nice!), 520 Eighth Avenue, near Penn Station) was Florida Studio Theatre's auditions for Metamorphosis. It was so large that they immediately typed, by look, all the non-equity actors, and I didn't make the first cut, but it was a beautiful pure blue-sky fall New York City Tuesday, and I just spent more time in it).

NOTE: the type-casting: it all reminded me of troops going into battle, not knowing who -- just by chance -- was going to go onto the next phase, and who was going to die right then and there. I was in the latter group . . . I was disappointed to be let go, but I just told myself . . .'it wasn't your time.'

Audition: Cold reading of a short side (single page) for films and commercials
Director: ID Films, idfilms.net
Location: Shelter Studios, 939 8th Avenue
Date: Sunday, October 10th, 2004, 4-8PM.

This was my first on-camera audition, and I won't try to pretend that I knew what I was doing -- and that's fine. I simply don't yet have the funds to take a film/TV audition class that works out, presumably, all the technicalities/logistics of working in front of a camera. I, again, simply wanted some first hand experience, and I got it . . .

Positives

None -- but I enjoyed it nevertheless, and more critically, I learned (at least we'll see if I learned) a couple of valuable lessons.

Negatives

1st) This was a HUGH open call for paid jobs: I got there on time, but it was still almost too late. I signed in as #198 (!?).
Solution: next time -- arrive thirty to forty five minutes early.

2nd) Classic mistake again. I failed to take control of the audition, of my time there. Specifically:

I rushed it -- way rushed it. They handed me the sides and said "whenever you're ready". I heard "GO!," and immediately started. BIG mistake. Never, ever, EVER do this again.
Solution: even if they say "GO!" (which they didn't), always ask for a a minute to read through the side. There were so many people, and they were so overwhelmed, that I impulsively decided to help them by moving my audition along. No more Mr. Goddamn Nice Guy. ALWAYS TAKE MY TIME! Any audition scheduling problems are their problems, not mine.

The rule is: They are not there to help me -- I am there to help them, and I didn't do that. Taking the reasonable time I need helps them (& me).

Audition: 1 minute monologue for Warren Leight's Side Man
Monologue: Andrew's final monologue from Paul Rudnick's play I Hate Hamlet.
Director: ?
Location: Gallery Players, 199 14th Street, Park Slope, Brooklyn
Date: Monday, October 11th, 2004, 7-9PM.

It's beginning to sink in just how much these auditions are really just like performances, opening night performances. I'm now starting to prepare for them the way I prepared for performances in Brooklyn and Manhattan this summer.

Positives

I was very prepared, and I relaxed and concentrated on mentally rehearsing the monologue. And it's just like performance. My new manta is:

I don't give a shit about getting this part.
I give a shit about taking risks and surprising myself with my monologue, with the performance.

Always work towards something deeper, more specific, and seamless.

(Minor) Negatives

Sometimes it's hard to "be" where I want to "be" emotionally at the top of the monologue -- sometimes I'm there, sometimes not.

I'm not sure if this is the result of inexperience/lack of technique or if it is the result of the operation of some biological-psychological "state" variable that I have little control over. I think both may be true, with more weight on the 'lack of technique' part of the equation: It's never the case that I'm "nowhere" emotionally. It's just that I'm not where I "imagined," "anticipated," "hoped" I would be -- but so what? Again, that's trying to re-created moments that occurred in past rehearsals, and I can't count on that.

When I thought about it, I realized that there always is "something" there for me at the top, so the rule is: if I can't "be" where I want to "be" at the start, simply "be" where I am, connect with that. It is critical to connect with something, so just use what's given to me. Oh, yeah ... and don't think, don't EVER think.

P.S. When they said a "1 minute monologue," they meant a "1 minute monologue," i.e., I was immediately cut off about 2/3rds into the monologue, but I think, despite the surprise, I did exit gracefully and in good humor. And -- I'll have to time it -- but I think can get Andrew's monologue down to a minute.

Audition: Fornetti Productions, Student Film Project, Brooklyn College.
Director: ?
Location: Field Building, Brooklyn College
Date: Wednesday, October 13th, 2004, high noon.

The audition consisted of "warm-reading" sides from a script. There were only a few lines of dialogue, but the director wanted them memorized, and it was no problem to do that (I had a couple of days prep time).

Positives

Simply, and as imaginatively as possible, I tried to bring myself to what few lines I had. I just made stuff up that felt right. One thing that I noticed was that the dialogue was very simple but always structured in 2-3 short lines, so I tried to give them each different empathsis, a different 'style', and I even interacted with my partner and the space differently on each line.

Negatives

After the first take -- I got direction.
( I'm not sure if this should go in the negative or positive part of my analysis, but as it is something I do need to work on, I'll leave it here).

Now, I wasn't great, but I did manage not to panic. I've encountered this before, and I think there's two parts to the problem:

Solution:
1) If I panic, I can't listen. When given direction -- DON'T THINK, just listen, listen all the way through, as carefully as I can.
2) While I'm listening -- and this is really just like "moments" in performance -- as I'm listening (just like to my partner on stage), DON'T THINK, just let any feelings, images, impulses come to the fore, and then . . . just act on them. I don't think there is much to think about here -- when given direction, just let it hit me "non-cognitively," hit me emotionally, in my body. Just let it activate whatever it's going to active in me, and don't think too much about it. It's just like performance.

P.S. I don't think this character, as concieved by the director/writer, was exactly my "type," i.e., mean-spirited and enjoying it. That may have made taking the direction more difficult.

See today's modification at the end of the August 04, 2004 entry: Cold Reading Technique. Daily Practice.

Audition: Cold reading of a monologue (not sure of the play)
Director: not decided (but Tim Lewis was there helping with casting decisions).
Location: Impact Theatre, cold-reading for a series of monologues to be performed in the fall.

Positives

Carefully read through the text making sure I understood literally what the character was saying. I even decided to skip over one word (technically optional in the sentence) that I could not pronounce -- a bit risky, but a good judgement call, I think: there wasn't time to ask the director how to pronouce it, so I just skipped it.

Negatives

Felt I was holding back, playing it safe, fear of embarassment.

Big regret!

What hurt/contributed to this was that I didn't quite decide what the monologue was about, i.e., a had a good sense from the very careful, literal, pre-reading, but I hit the stage with a bunch of impressions, and hoped intitution would guide me somehow. It did, but I was still unfocued.

Ok -- (possible) solution: Next time, do exactly what I did today, but then, after/during the careful literal pre-read, find the best 1-sentence, 1-phase, 1-clear image I can of the piece that summarizes what I want, that's emotionally charging/energizing (or is at least a 'spark' that I can let start a fire as I go through the monologue). Today, it would have been "I'm finally free!," which I think would have been a great choice, because that's really what this guy was talking about, and it was close to a traditional soliloquy, with the guy gradually coming to an insight, e.g., '... but I have to admit it, I don't give a damn.'

Then, before I start, repeat the phase 3-4 times, feel my way into it, and then start. I think this will help me be more focused on communicating/pursuing one simple thing.

Then, after I start, don't play it safe, and by that I mean, follow, unthinkingly -- I mean it -- unthinkingly, any, ANY impulse. Who cares if it is off or ultimately 'wrong' -- these cold readings are explorations, first and formost. I can go wherever the hell I want to go with them, and I will.

I want another crack at this monologue!

I find cold reading machanically difficult, i.e., holding the book, getting/staying connected with the the text, with my partner, not losing my place . . . but I've seen people who are seemless, and I'm determine to be that good, or at least asymptotically approach that level with daily practice . . . so what do I daily practice?

1st) When I first get the script/sides, do a "literal-objective" read-through to catch any words I might stumble over. Catch any sentences, any phases, any "points" (that the character makes) that I do not understand. I need to literally understand what the hell the character is taking about.

2nd) When the other person is speaking -- DON'T look down at the text (use/trust my thumb or index finger to be a marker), i.e., look at the person, at the sky, anything but the text. The idea here is to stay in contact with my partner or the environment.

3rd) When the other person is finished, then look down and do a very fast "taking-it-off-the-page," i.e.,

- "pick-up" (scan/take in) whatever I can, without thinking or talking. I might not be able to "pick-up" an entire sentence. Usually it'll be just groups of words, phases (maybe even only 3-4 words) . . . let this be automatic, i.e., don't try to pick-up any particular group, just let the 'group' form natually.

- once (or as) the 'group' forms natually, let it imprint on me emotionally. I'll need to be 'soft', in a way, relaxed, for this to happen. The 'picking-up' and 'imprinting' steps together will probably take a second or less. DON'T THINK!!!!! Don't try to do anything. Don't try to have an experience or a moment. If nothing hits me/imprints on me -- so be it. That's perfectly fine -- don't wait for it. Just move on.

- Look up, and say the line w/out waiting or thinking.

(Review Harold Guskin's How To Stop Acting, p. 27-30, if I need to).

- When I'm finished, do not look ahead at my next line. Put full attention on my partner (note: I don't have to be looking at them, but I need to be listening).

Below, I'll be adding to/modifying this technique as I go along.

08.06.2004 Note: see more advice for cold reading a monologue (which will apply to long sections in dialogue-based pieces).

9.29.04 Entry

Worked on Lanford Wilson's A Betrothal tonight.

Cold reading modification: breathe in as I silently read a line/phase. Take the line/phase in, letting it hit me (or not), and then on the exhale, w/out thinking or censoring let the words out.

This is pure risk -- it puts me right on the edge, but I find I'm completely surprising myself almost every other line; I'm often intuitively finding a wonderful and surprising structure in the scene, in the character.

While it's not a strict technique, Guskin's How To Stop Acting (p. 27-30) suggests breathing all the way out before speaking, but that can't really be right, i.e., the pauses between speaking are too long, and I really don't have the breath support at that point. Tonight, the above modification to his technique seem to be one key to real inventiveness.

Note of interest: I didn't strictly do this with every line/phase. Rather it just happened, more or less, on it's own, about 50-60% of the time, and it seemed to happen most when the beat changed: I didn't consciously do this when I notice the beat changing -- I notice a beat change after I did it.

10.03.04 Entry New monologue routine: Last night I saw an audition for Kushner's Angels in America, but I'm not quite ready with my one new monologue. Qu'une honte ! OK -- here's my new monologue routine:

Phase 1: get the monologue(s) "working," i.e., memorized and 'set.'
Phase 2: each week, 2-3/4 times, just work the beats.

** now I'm ready to go when an opportunity presents itself **

Phase 3: Get lead time for each audition, e.g., BackStage's audition calendar is updated each Thursday -- if there's an audition requiring a monologue, this should give me 2-3 days to run the monologue, i.e., really work the beats and mentally rehearse them before bed. If I do that, I'll be as prepared as I can be.

The key will be phase 1 and 2 (and phase 3, i.e., remembering to look at the calendar so that I'm not trying to prepare at the last minute, like today).