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Rehearsal Technique: General/Specific Insights/Principles

Insight: This commitment to "being in the moment" takes some getting use to, and it's forcing me to change my "idea" of rehearsal, i.e., the effects on rehearsal on performance are less direct, generally, than I imagined, if I'm to take this "being in the moment" advice seriously (i.e., Hook: The Actor's Field Guide, Playing the scene, p. 57). In the loft, rehearsals are fun, surprising, and more often than not -- lately, a lot more often than not -- energizing and uplifting, and up to this point, a source of great comfort & security, i.e., 'if I can do that (what I did in rehearsal) tonight, I'll be fine.' During exploration, during rehearsal, I seem to be producing a reasonably good internal structure to support Shrdlu, i.e., what he wants, how he's going to go about getting it.

At it's best, rehearsal is quite inventive . . .

and that's The Art Of Performance. Rather than take into performance an internal structure I've created during the most recent rehearsal, somehow take into performance the inventive process that's in play during rehearsal -- creating structure "on-the-fly." Exactly how to do this, I'm not sure -- but this is the target. I'm sorry that The Addiing Machiine will close in two days because I want to further explore the relationship between rehearsal and performance, and learn how to bring this 'inventive,' 'imaginative' process into performance, subject to the constraints of performance. Anyway, that is my future mission next time I get a reasonably sizable role.

Some notes: certain physicalities need to be rehearsed so that they can be, as flawlessly as possible, brought into performance, e.g., killing the mosquito on my arm before launching into the heart of Shrdlu's story (how he killed his mother). If I can really 'imagine' the bite at the right time (for some reason, my 'sense memory' of what it feels like to be bitten by a mosquito wasn't there last night . . . weird), and if I can slap my arm at the right spot, somehow this physical action takes me right where I need to go, and most interestingly, I've never had to use 'personal history, personal memory' to bring to life what I think is true of Shrdlu's experience at that moment (it was like 9/11, the killing really came out of the blue for him). Anyway, if I can do that simple physical action, it makes my job so much easier.

Also, being-in-the-moment does create more structure than I anticipated it would. It may all be like riding a bike -- the more I do it, the more I learn to trust that this "on-the-fly" structure will be there for me.

Problems: Last night, a very appreciative audience member was almost hysterical with laughter: the smallest of phases were meet by almost gales of laugher-- I didn't expect this at all, and I found myself quite distracted by it. This is where a hell of lot of rehearsal is invaluable: even though I was the most distracted, the most aware, of the audience that I've ever been, somehow my body seemed to carry on despite a fairly serious conscious preoccupation.

Solution: My mistake was 'fighting' the laughter, wishing it would stop so I could 'act.' The thing to do, and I've seen great comedic actors do this masterfully, is go with the audience, go with the laughter. Just when I thought acting could not get more complicated, I now see I need to factor in audience reaction. I think that by fighting the laughter, I missed an opportunity to become 'emotionally yoked' to the audience, and worse, that was the major source of the distraction. Fascinating.

Post-script: sense memory. Sense memory, I suspect, is support by neural architecture that's much more available to conscious control than is 'emotion memory' (where the extensive pathways from the 'emotional' brain to the higher centers run primarily in one direction, i.e. they run primary from the emotion supporting structures to the neo-cortex). Here it may be possible to do something during performance that will elicit the memory of a particular sensation in a way doesn't take undue attention and effort.

Rehearsal Technique: General/Specific Insights/Principles

Today, the show was listed in TheatreMania.com. Tonight was load-in/technical rehearsal at the Medicine Show Theatre, in the same 549 West 52nd Street building as, and one flight above, the famed Ensemble Studio Theatre.

The Medicine Show Theatre is a beautiful, professional black box theatre, clean and fully equipped w/a computerized lighting and sound system. When I saw it, I was scared to death -- I suddenly missed the grungy little Impact Theatre, with its sweltering basement dressing/waiting room that flooded with each summer thunder shower that washed through Brooklyn last July.

Problem: as usual, I find the first time rehearsing in a theatre, under performance conditions, distracting -- and it's all the dark and the bright lights: I feel I am looking into nothing, as opposed to rehearsing at home, during the day, when I can see the loft and easily transform it into a graveyard -- and Elysium.

Possible solution: tomorrow night: under the lights, in the graveyard scene, find something in the theatre to focus on, what Uta Hagen calls The Forth Side, A Challenge for the Actor (p. 152). Tomorrow at home, work the beats as usual, but first read through this "The Forth Side" exercise and create 2-3 imaginary objects and then see if I can pin them on something tomorrow night.

Problem: trying to "do something," i.e., what I've rehearsed, moments I wanted to create. This (almost) never works. I'm not going after what Shrdlu wants, I'm going after what I, the actor, wants. Instead, put all my attention on Mr. Zero, the environment, and on what (and on how well) "Shrdlu" is getting what he wants, and then I, the actor, will get what I want.

Reminder to help me do this : re-read Ed Hook's advice (The Actor's Field Guide), Playing The Scene, p. 57. The Art Of Performance: Just let go (& gently remind myself about what I want) -- also, avoid self-monitoring (p.98).

And at night and before I go on, mentally rehearse what Shrdlu wants -- cela doit faire le tour.

We're now The Malverne Players. Ron's somehow producing and moving the show into Manhattan:

The Medicine Show Theatre, 3rd Floor
549 West 52nd Street, between 10th & 11th Avenues
New York City, New York.

Whoo Hoo!!!!!!!

Performance dates are 9/9 - 9/11 @ 8PM & 9/12 @ 4PM. Tickets will be $12, and we should be listed on TheatreMania.com in a couple of weeks.

Rehearsals start tomorrow at Ron's Apt. in Brooklyn on Oceanside Parkway.

The show closed last Sunday, the 25th. A friend, Walter, wrote me, and he asked me how it all went. What follows sums up my first-time experience of preparing a role, being on stage, and handling it all . . .

Dear Walter -- The production went well, I thought. As for feedback: the director, at the cast party, told me he thought I did an excellent job (this was after several beers, but I think he was very sincere). Second, I always used the audience's (sensed) reaction, and there I think I was batting about 40%, i.e., I was reasonably pleased with about 3-4 performances, all the 2nd week. However, one performance, I *think*, went quite well: during the 5th show (the start of the 2nd week), my first scene is essentially a long monologue, and it's the first scene after the intermission. I finally started picking up my cues (I now know what that Lynnea meant when she always told you guys to do that) -- it's nothing you can really make happen: the lines at some point just have to become automatic, and when they did, I found I could listen to my partner, "think" as the character, and pay more attention to what was happening in the moment. When the scene ended, the audience clapped, which took me by surprise as I didn't know anyone in the audience, and I had to carry that scene on my own, essentially telling a 10 min story.

All this was quite gratifying because I can't think of too many personal projects where I put in more time and effort over a comparable period of time, and it was a fascinating, frustrating process, especially that first scene. At first, rehearsing/working was fun, but from the middle until after the show opened, I found myself having to really bare down -- sometimes it all felt more 'threatening' than 'challenging' (i.e., a part of me really feared inviting people, but I made myself do it), but no matter how frustrated/scared I got, I resolved not to give up, and everyday I worked, identifying trouble spots, re-thinking my way through sections, carefully re-reading the lines looking for cues, coming up with possible solutions, letting myself be as imaginative as possible, and simply being willing to throw anything away that wasn't working or I didn't like, and I rehearsed that first scene, almost every day, all the way though the run. And -- I still can't quite believe it -- it paid off!

- Cheers,
          Christopher

The pre-show @ home rehearsal went so well that I prayed to a God I don't believe in that if I could bring it all to performance, he/she could take my life tomorrow . . . and I meant every word.

. . . OK . . . it looks like I can be damn serious about this . . .

Performance Technique: General/Specific Insights/Principles

The performance tonight went very well (in fact, the audience applauded after Shrdlu's 1st scene). An excellent night (according my standards of bringing Shrdlu into the Universe to the best of my ability).

Pre-performance procedure: rehearse the beats explicitly @ home before the show. Mentally rehearse before I go on -- stay quiet, focused, apart (if need be) from the other actors. Do this before every performance to maximize the chances of doing my best.

Performance Technique: General/Specific Insights/Principles

Tonight, before going on, I was very conscious/worried/pre-occupied that someone I know would be in the audience -- turned out to be my friend Gabe. My concentration was not there, I was pre-occupied before going on -- I let it affect my performance . . . interesting . . . it took me by surprise: I thought I would be nervous if anyone I knew showed up, but I was surprised by how nervous I was, and I couldn't quite get on top of it.

Solution: I didn't look out into the pre-show audience to "confirm" my fear that someone I know was actually out there, and this turned out -- I believe -- to make things worse. Next time, if I'm so worried that I'm pre-occupied -- just look. I broke one the first laws of how to handle fear: face what you fear (re-read Guskin's How To Stop Acting, p. 87, how to handle fear).

Performance Technique: General/Specific Insights/Principles: The problem of performance.

The problem of performance is how to bring what works, what's great in rehearsal, to performance.

My solution was to just "let go" and not try to do anything (see Ed Hooks, The Actor's Field Guide p.67-70). This was helpful (and it's definitely a skill I can acquire through practice) for the main reason that consciously trying to do something that I did in rehearsal, or something that I "think" I the actor "should" do on stage, takes me out of the moment, the 'moment' of a character in pursuit of their objective.

One thing that might help: Dr. David Roland's The Confident Performer, p. 41 chapter 5, talks about mental rehearsal. Each night before bed, simply mentally rehearse what worked in rehearsal that day, e.g., my objectives, specific images/thoughts that I'll "bring up" at particular points in the text, specific movements/physicality that I've worked out. I can't mentally rehearse specific magic 'moments' that happened, but I can mentally rehearse those objective physical specific components of rehearsal that has allowed 'magic' moments to happen. Acting has a hell of lot in common with sports -- there's a big physical component to it.

Shrdlu

. . . some post-(first week) performance thoughts:

One big mistake I feel I've avoid is playing against what Shrdlu literally say. He says he loved his mother and believed in what she was trying to accomplish, i.e., turning him into a man of God -- he 'failed,' of course (running away to the sea), he was 'weak,' of course, but he never rejected her teachings or hated her. Of course it's clear that "underneath" a part of him hated what she was doing to him -- but this, in real life, is a body-based reaction: In 'real life,' people internalize a set of values and goals that are not objectively in their best interests, but they don't "know" that. The "body" knows, some deep center that's affected by our cognitive/conscious choices "knows," but that part of ourselves is not part of the cognitive-conscious part that's internalized/rationalized a particular set of values.

The mistake would be to play him with venom dripping off each word in his first scene, trying to 'emotionally' communicate to the audience "why" he killed her (i.e., "she smothered me, and I hated her"). All that's obvious -- one can just read the play, the dialog, and know that's what happened. The point, what Shrdlu's about, is that he never consciously knows why: we can reasonably infer that he feels frustrated, feels like a failure -- because from his perspective, he is a failure. He has no real understanding of his situation, so he can't feel -- and he certainly can't show a feeling -- that suggests he really does "understand" what his mother was doing to him. The wrong choice -- strong, but wrong -- would be for me to take how Christopher would feel, how most people in the audience would feel in Shrdlu's situation, than then infuse Shrdlu's words with that experience: that would be me (my conscious wants and goals) -- not Shrdlu.

What does Shrdlu want -- always the question. He does NOT want to rebel, crush and kill his mother -- he was, and still is, trying to be" good," trying to convince Zero that it wasn't his mother's "fault" that Shrdlu killed her (i.e., 'she was a saint, a saint I tell you), convincing Zero that the problem lies within him (i.e., Zero -- 'I never heard of a guy killing his mother before. Why did you do it?' Shrdlu -- 'Because I have a sinful heart. There's no other reason.'). Shrdlu knows exactly how he feels, and it's the opposite of our inference of how he must be really feeling (rage, hate).

Shrdlu is a great character for a first time actor -- because you really do have to apply and discover the art & craft of acting to do this guy justice.

Performance Technique: General/Specific Insights/Principles

If I get stuck, if it all starts to feel old, re-visit the text for any words I've drifted into adding or dropping. Also, pay attention to all punctuation, commas, periods, etc, as they suggest internal rhythm and pace. All this should help to freshen things up and help me work through any roadblocks.

Shrdlu

Opening week performance grade: C+ to B.

Sunday sucked, sssssssssssucked!!!!, but that was because I changed what I was trying to tell Zero (i.e., that I loved my mother), and it flattened the entire story except the very last part ("I cut my mother's throat"). That worked out great (i.e., it got an audience reaction). This is how to do that critical section.

The "trick" to Shrdlu is specifics and then full on BIG love starting at the bottom of p. 39 (after Zero asks for a Camel). At the climax of his story, BIG SIMLE, and keep staring at the same point, the "locket of love", the vision of love, and from "Well, I raised my knife . . ." be absolutely still.

Performance Technique: General/Specific Insights/Principles

Took Ed Hook's advice (The Actor's Field Guide), Playing The Scene, p. 57, and it worked! Just let go (& gently remind myself about what I want) -- also, avoid self-monitoring (p.98).

In performance -- let go and go with the moment. It's perfectly fine if tonight is not as good as last night, or if it's better.

Rule: After each performance, after I've looked at what worked and what didn't, come up with a set of possible solutions to problems, come up with a plan of action for the next performance, and then FORGET last night -- do not allow myself to thing about or remember it.

Shrdlu

What does Shrdlu want?

Confess -- make Zero see I'm a sinner, there's absolutely nothing I can do about it (it's just a fact, like the fact that I have 2 ears), and that I'm perfectly sane, not crazy. I watched the confession of the innocent man locked up with Mr. Tibbs in the early part of the movie. The innocent man is not just telling the literal events of what happened (e.g., "I just picked it (the wallet) up from the man after I found him dead) -- he's telling Mr. Tibbs, making Mr. Tibbs understand that he's innocent and how nothing goes right for him . . . nothing goes right for me . . . that 's the heart of it for him . . . find out, in a single phase I can emotionally understand what's the heart of it for Shrdlu.

Also from the Field Guide -- Playing Crazy (p. 43) -- Tim Lewis's advice: playing against type: try to act perfect sane, calm, when I say I cut my mother's throat.

Also, "Dr. Ameranth told me what what in store for me:" Shrdlu is ready for it, unflinching. Me -- think of something "hot" that I want.

Performance Technique: General/Specific Insights/Principles

(Even though the performance has started, I'm going to rehearse each day and take risks at night, setting specific performance goals).

Last night was really a full dress-tech rehearsal, and . . . not too bad minus the usual tech and line glitches.

Tim Lewis suggested "playing against type," that I not be so emotional, and I agree because I find myself pushing for something that isn't there.

Strategy:

Again, daily -- explore and work my beats and specifics. Today, in the loft, I stopped pushing for emotion while still pursing my objectives and strengthening and/or finding better specifics.

Tonight's performance goals:

1. Do NOT push for emotion.

2. Pursue my objectives.

3. Use my specifics.

4. Try the new 'I cut my mother's throat' section.